Monthly Archives: August 2009

Threat From Neu Schwabenland

America faces invasion by an armada of Nazi flying saucers—launched from a secret underground base in Antarctica where they’ve been housed since World War II.

This is the horrifying claim of a National Security Agency source, who says global warming is to blame.

“Because of excess greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, the Antarctic ice is rapidly melting—depriving German scientists, SS officers and their families of their sanctuary,” declares the source.

“Their ‘final solution’ is to conquer America".”

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Rectangle of Woe

A mysterious window to the supernatural in mid-America has been the scene of many bizarre, unexplained UFO and Bigfoot events for more than 100 years.

So strange and bewildering are the events in the area of southwest Michigan that before the white man came, the native Indians called one body of water Magician Lake.

“There are too many reports from this small area over a long period of time to simply dismiss them as unrelated incidents—or the ravings of crackpots,” says David Fideler, a scholar who has devoted years to the study of the area he calls “The Michigan Rectangle.”

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Got Me Over A Barrel

At the foot of Niagara Falls lies a museum and a mystery. The barrel museum shows a proud display of the "barrels," –none of which are really conventional barrels– that crazed stuntmen used in a usually vain attempt to ride for glory over the roaring rapids of Niagara Falls.
Niagara is split into two falls. On one side of Goat Island is American Falls. It’s the shorter of the two by a few feet. But the bottom is lined with rocks. Riding over it in a barrel would not be a crapshoot. It would be straight suicide.
All the daredevils have gone over Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. It’s a bit higher, but it offers the possibility of a survivable landing.
Nineteen people have tried to ride Niagara Falls in a barrel — or in worse than a barrel. Four died. Six were stopped before they could try it. Nine made the fall and lived to tell of it.
Going over Niagara Falls in a barrel was once the archetypal daredevil’s feat, but it’s hardly the only stunt ever attempted there. The first glory hunter was Sam Patch, who leaped into the churning waters at the foot of the falls twice in 1829, the second time from a hastily built ladder more than 100 feet high. (He survived, but was killed later that year jumping at a different falls.) In 1859 a French "funambulist" (tightrope walker) known as the Great Blondin sashayed across Niagara’s gorge on a specially made rope three inches in diameter and 1,100 feet long. Blondin made several repeat trips that year: for one he carried his manager on his back, and for another he toted a small stove, which he used to cook an omelette halfway across.
Tightrope walking remained popular for the balance of the century, but entrepreneurs were already looking for new ways to dazzle the rubes. The first to try a barrel was a cooper, fittingly enough–English immigrant Carlisle Graham introduced this innovation in 1886. He didn’t go over the falls but rather shot the treacherous "whirlpool rapids" a short distance downstream. Many more followed suit, with activity rising to a peak in 1901 due to the crowds drawn by the Pan-American Exposition in nearby Buffalo. Predictably, on October 24 of that year, somebody decided to take things to the next level. Not so predictably, that somebody was a woman, Annie Edson Taylor, a plump 63-year-old schoolteacher.

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Portrait of a Rockhead as a Young Man

"Hey, Heavy D, what you got for me today? Got some heavy boulders? Shake ‘em and they sound like dice?" That was the chant Jimmy Oliver heard when he walked down South Washington Street in Lansing, Michigan. Heavy D was his nickname, after the fat rapper whose girth Jimmy shares. And the heavy boulders? Those were the rocks of crack riding in Jimmy’s jeans. A few years ago, Jimmy was a rich young drug dealer who could blow $12,000 over a weekend — partying with prostitutes and buying big dinners for a dozen of the false friends his money bought. Now he’s just broke. A few months ago, Jimmy started smoking his product, which is the quickest way to lose money in the drug business.

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The Rape of Nanking

In December of 1937, the Japanese Imperial Army marched into China’s capital city of Nanking and proceeded to murder 300,000 out of 600,000 civilians and soldiers in the city. The six weeks of carnage would become known as the Rape of Nanking and represented the single worst atrocity during the World War II era in either the European or Pacific theaters of war.

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