Tag Archives: gil melle

The Eve of the Krampus

‘Tis the season, mädchen und jungen, to peruse the list of St. Nicholas, and determine just who has been good and who has been naughty.
If you have truly been good, do not worry. But if you have torn the wings off of flies, or pulled the whiskers of a cat for the sheer fun of it…BEWARE
for KRAMPUS is coming…
In Krampus’s court, you’ll not get a fair hearing. You will not receive the aid of a barrister. You can beg and plead for forgiveness and lament your wrongdoing, but it will not help you. You will feel the sting of the thorniest switch in my bundle.
After you’ve been sufficiently punished, I’ll decide whether or not you’ll be returned to your mommy and your daddy. I may decide to keep you on as my assistant. Children’s bad behavior is a growth industry. I’ll need a lot of help to keep up with all of the workload.
Mark my words, children: may a lump of coal in your stocking be the worst that happens to you this Jul. For those of you less fortunate, you will feel the torturous flames under your feet. Happy Holidays!
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